I am puke
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
