You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
