I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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