walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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