Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
