ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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