It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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