so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
