..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
