I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
