What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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