No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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