when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
