i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
