I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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