I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
