I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
