Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
