When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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