Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
