we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
