My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i barfeds in our rink
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
