oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
