Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
