No awkward lesbian experiences without me
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it glows. i had to have it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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