why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
