thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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