I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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