okay pat passed out under dana's car
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My penis needs a shock collar
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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