I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
BRING THE BAGELS
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
