hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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