Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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