We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
