Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
