I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
