it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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