I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
