Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
