dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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