So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
