forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
