I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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