I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize