addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
