What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
