Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
