You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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