Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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