i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
