I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
